By Marigold K.
Valentine's Day is coming up, and it's left me wondering just one thing. No, not where to look for chocolates and candies and flowers and stuff. No, not what the heck else I'm going to do for my girlfriend for the day. I am, of course, thinking about somebody else's love-life. Sonic's.
What is Sonic doing these days? He's turning twenty-five. He should be looking into who'll be his groom, collecting enough rings to afford the ceremony, and, most importantly, thinking about getting Mr. Naka some grand-kids for goodness' sakes! Luckily for him, I'm here, and I've spent entirely-too-much-time obsessing over his romantic life and love interests and will now go over his three best possible love interests in order to determine the decision for the darn hedgehog.
No need to thank me, Sonic - I know.
Rougher than the rest of them, the best of them, tougher than leather, doesn't chuckle, flexes his muscles - you guessed it, it's Knuckles. Born on an island in the heavens, this dreadlocked echidna is hard as nails and it isn't hard to tell, I must say. He is packed with muscles that could be put to great use in holding Sonic's delicate hedgehog form protectively away from all that action and excitement and such. His duty may be to save the flower(?) from evil deterioration, but, given how he's shirked his Master-Emerald-protecting duties so often for Sonic already, what's from now until eternity ends, til death they will part?
When Sonic and Knuckles first met, they... got off on the wrong foot, to put it lightly. Sonic bumped into Knuckles, Knuckles stole all of his chaos emeralds, conspired with Doctor Eggman, only to find out that Eggman had been using him and was looking to use the chaos emeralds for his own purposes--it was a big mess but they ultimately managed to pull through and work together. They even had a game called "Sonic & Knuckles"! Only one of the two other 'candidates' for Sonic's love can say that (in Japan's release - Sonic & Tails for the Game Gear and Master System, 1994), so that's a pretty exclusive club he's in.
Only problem is he and Sonic don't have that much in common, save for that they're both on the same side and work towards a greater good. Knuckles likes to sit around and do nothing all day but listen to hip-hop on the radio and nod his head all cool-like while listening to it, and we all know what Sonic does when left lying around without moving for too long. So, unfortunately, he's not exactly mister perfect for Sonic.
Moving on to our next candidate - Shadow. The. Hedgehog. Gosh. Is he tall? Kind of. Is he dark? Pretty much. Is he handsome? Are you even kidding me, of course he is have you ever heard of Shadow even. He can teleport with his chaos control, he's mysterious, he probably listens to The Weeknd. He's everything everyone could ever want, in hedgehog form.
When Sonic first met Shadow, he had been framed for the crimes the black and red hedgehog had done... So yea, total bad boy. They bonded over the questioning each other's authenticity, even coming up with a mutual nickname: faker. I know, I know, it's a total fairy-tale love story, complete with a tragic end. After working together with him to save the earth, Shadow died... but he came back! And it was as if nothing changed between the two, except everything changed for Shadow 'cause he lost his memory, but whatever.
While memory-loss can make for a great story, it's also a perfect recipe for ruined anniversaries! Flowers? Forgot 'em. Chocolates? Forgot 'em. Love letters? Too busy brooding to get to that, babe. That might sound intensely attractive to some of you, perhaps, but for Sonic? It's a deal-breaker. Sonic needs formula, and consistency. That's why he keeps letting Dr. Eggman continue to try to take over the world and stuff! For this to happen, it's just ruined all of their chances of being together, because now? They have nothing. No good times, no bad times, no questioning each other's authenticity. Nothing. This is why Shadow just isn't the one for Sonic.
And finally, we have Tails. Do I even have to introduce him? Almost everybody who knows Sonic knows Tails as well--but no one knows him better than Sonic does. He's orange-and-white furred, has a great knack for technology, and has been tagging along with Sonic in his adventures for just one year short of Sonic's entire career. Turning twenty-four himself later this year (twenty-five next year), there's no better match for Sonic than Tails.
Unlike his competition, Tails did not start off as Sonic's enemy - he started as his peer. He could do almost everything Sonic could, but what he lacked in chaos-emerald-fueled super transformations (until Sonic the Hedgehog 3 & Knuckles, 1994), he made up for in altitude. Yes, on top of being a tech/computer whiz and biplane pilot, he can fly with his own two tails. This gives Sonic and Tails an in-game relationship. Tails can help Sonic reach new heights he could only dream of reaching in the previous game, not to mention his impressive fortitude when facing any badnik or machine Eggman cooked up in order to destroy Sonic. This builds trust and a deep emotional connection between the two that has no rival in all of Sonic's relationships.
Plus, Tails is as close to Sonic as he's ever let anyone get to him, making him his best and closest friend - and that is what every other possible love interest for Sonic lacks. Sonic knows Tails, he's been through a lot with Tails--including, but not limited to, saving the world.
Earlier today, GamesRadar published an article with date advice from Sonic the Hedgehog himself (well, as close as it'd get, for a fictional character). There were a lot of jokes and such, but there was one question and answer that struck me as important. They asked him, "If you like it, when do you put a ring on it?" His answer was as follows:
When you can actually almost afford a ring that isn’t candy.
When your significant other has completed Sonic 3 & Knuckles with all the emeralds.
When you’ve been through some serious stuff together, like saving the world and rescuing woodland critters.
When you’ve given yourself enough time to actually get to know them. (But for real, this one is important.)
Now, who do we know who would work with these? Who else could have completed Sonic 3 & Knuckles (in-universe) with Sonic? Who's been through more serious stuff like saving the world and rescuing woodland critters with Sonic than Tails? Who has Sonic had the most time to get to know?
Tails, that's who.
So, with all of that in mind, I say Tails is not only the perfect love interest for Sonic, he may even--subtextually, at least, at the moment--already be in a relationship with him. We don't know, we don't have a constant window into Sonic and Tails's daily lives. What I do know--what we know, is that Sonic and Tails have been through everything together, and know each other better than they know anyone else.
And that's important.
And that's the fourth edition of Sonic Fridays! Hope you all enjoyed this half-serious, half-jokey article! I know I enjoyed writing it. Hope you all have a wonderful Valentine's Day this Sunday, and a significant other to spend it with. Feel free to let us know in the comments who you think is Sonic's match! Do you think I'm right and that Sonic and Tails are meant to be? Do you think I'm totally wrong? Be heard, and be civil (please)!